My Stepsister

Listen, I've heard quite a few impressively strange things. However, this takes the cake. When I moved here I was made to get a job and was hounded until I got one. My stepsister Tricia had a job, she had two and was allowed to quit both and claimed the reason behind it is her bi-polar. In case you haven't noticed retarded citizens hold jobs. People with actual mental disabilities hold jobs. There is no fracking excuse for anyone who is as smart as she claims to be to not hold a job. You see this is not the problem however. The problem is that even though she has no money she continues to spend money she does not have. Not to mention that my parents allow her to go wherever she wants in their car without making her pay for gas. Does anyone else see the flaw in this?

My House is Wack

So, I'm not sure what to say really. It kinda caught me off guard that my dad would come in cussing and spitting. It's really not like him at all. He said I needed to straighten up my attitude and pretty much told me and my sister that we were lazy leeches. It just seems to me that my sister and I were a bit singled out in this case... However despite my distaste for such a vulgar display I did what I was asked. My new rebellion is talking only when I want to and otherwise being the ideal, quiet, child.

the stinkeye

I've been getting the stinkeye from everyone in my house... is that a bad sign.

WHOAH!

Picture this, you are walking down the street and you hear the most hardcore thrash sound EVER. You listen behind in the alleyway for a few and vow to return later with your friend who also enjoys said music.
You return later to find that the crazy music is gone. Your buddy who you brought along knocks on the door to the garage and a bloodcurdling deathmetal scream exlodes from the warehouse. You and your two buddies are so fearful for your lives that you scatter and meet up at a local establishment.
You begin to walk down to Rite-Aid to purchase junk food and BAM one of your friends is straightarmed by a 300 pound skinhead covered in tattoos from head to toe and he turns to your other friend and begins to scream in his face for a short time until he leaves in a scary as hell cloud of dust.
You attempt to shrug off the adrenaline and continue with your buisness. You find five dollars on the ground at a gas station(WIN!) and then are promptly questioned by the cops.

THE END
true story btw

I'm Pissed

I light a candle in the house and suddenly I'm a drug addict.
Fuck the people in this house.

Neglect

Okay so I've neglected my blog...
I've neglected my blog a lot.
I've been busy with my crappy job, my recently more difficult school work, and my band that is now gaining personal momentum. It's not like anyone reads it anyway. So lets catch you up.

Mykle is currently in agreement with a friend to quit drugs. I am constantly craving a new escape.
Mykle works at Subway in Perry. I hate it.
Mykle's family thinks he is a stoner. I am disappointed.
Mykle isn't sleeping well anymore. I am constantly tired.
Mykle's family is now giving a monetary allowance to each individual in the house to pay for food.(As opposed to eating together.)
Mykle's sister has a boyfriend. The guy is pretty cool.
Mykle has been to prom with his friend Kelzie. Got asked to his prom by Jessica but turned her down due to lack of money.
Mykle's band has recorded a crappy cover. "Yay!"

Thats the lowdown.

The Job

Yeah, I'm pretty much down with working at Subway...

Catching up

So here is the short version of what went on recently in Mykle's life. Mykle ran his first two races at a track invitational. Mykle turned in the forms so he could go to prom. And finally, Mykle has gotten his interview with Subway rescheduled. In an hour or so Mykle will sprint out the door and into the passenger seat of a maroon car and receive a ride to said interview and then get dropped off at his place of education. Mykle is worried that he will have to quit track in order to work this job. Mykle is also worried that he wrote this entire post in the third person...

Mondays

I never could quite get the hang of Mondays.
Today I had the worst day ever at school and found out the interview that canceled my track meet is now canceled. So now I have to talk with my coach and find out what events I can do at the meet if I decide that coming is the best idea.

This Week

This week is like a new song in my poor little musical.
Three days ago, or was it four, I fell of my bike. Suddenly everything changed.
My parents told me I could do whatever I wanted as long as I told them where I was going and it didn't affect the household.
Then, I received a call today saying I had a job interview coming my way.
Heres the big problem: Track.
Track is my favorite thing right now and I'm going to have to give it up for my job.
I don't know how this is going to effect me...

Once again, I'm slime.

Yesterday I had a kick-awesome day. Today is not one of those days and tomorrow doesn't look good either. Why? My family of course! Once again I am a condescending jerk because I was talking about guitars in my kitchen. Trick please, if I were a condescending jerk I wouldn't be talking about mother fracking guitars! I would probably talking about America's alarming obesity rate, the theory that global warming may or may not be saving us from the next ice age, and the fact that I'm the only one in the darn family who walks anywhere. Hey Suess Christo people! It's also pretty sad that me taking a shower offends more people than when I don't take a shower. Perhaps it's time for my family to get their priorities in order before they go attacking me because I just happen to know more about guitars than they do.

Impact

Anyone who has met me in real life knows that I am a Christian. I'm pretty bad at it. However, the youth conference I just attended left an Impact on me. I want to be a better Christian. So from now on I am renouncing many things I used to do that don't quite fit the Christian lifestyle.

Get a Haircut and Get a Real Job

Tomorrow I am going to turn in my application for the movie theatre. I kinda always wanted to work at one and so when I saw the "Help Wanted" signs I had to get an application. That was yesterday, so tomorrow instead of going to jam with my band I'm going to go turn that stuff in. Send a prayer readers, I really want this job.

Promise me

The power of a promise. It is something hardly ever contemplated anymore. Two words added to the end of a statement can bind some human beings to death and beyond. Mykle, may not be one of those human beings. I was talking to my friend Sophie and she made me promise "not to do drugs." Whether or not she knew I had done it before wasn't the issue. It wasn't about what I had previously done. It was about someone showing that they really do care. So I did, I promised. So now all I can do is see if I can keep it.

I Lie

I feel that I am slowly turning into what I hate.

I lie
I cheat
I feel lust
I have stolen

Could it be the environment I have become engulfed by? Or is this how it always has been and I am only now allowing myself?

Am I really a bad person after all?

Hell Week

Every day is becoming more difficult than the last. With the play on the horizon and track sticking to the same pace it was at before the days seem to get shorter. So, while hanging out with my mates yesterday was exactly what I needed, it may have not been the best idea.

Eyeliner

It's interesting the reactions you can get from a little bit of make-up. A dab of eyeliner can change the way people look at you and react to you. Its interesting.

My friend Liz asked me, "Are you wearing eyeliner?" I responded and told her I was and then she asked, "Micheal are you depressed?" I'm really intrigued by this response. I mean, yeah I'm depressed, but thats not the reason I wore eyeliner, at least not that i know of...

Hectic

So the deal is, people lose it.
All the time.
It happens. It never fails to surprise me.
So today when the house went berserk I carefully hulled up with my little bro talking about Japanese media. Of course, we came out after to play rock band. It was then that i realized that the most important emotion is so difficult to express. Appreciation, whether it is for my stepmom caring for the family so long (before snapping) or my little brother for chilling out with me, it can almost be impossible to express. What if appreciation were easier to show? Do you think the world would be a better place?

Life Views

I suppose the real conflict of interest between my family and I is our views on life. It seems to me as though my dad believes life is all about affording what you want. So to do that he insists that I get a job, save money, and buy things I do not need (and barely want for that matter.) I don't think that is how life works ladies and gentlemen. Life is more like having a safety net of people, people willing to help you out in a tough time, put in a good word at job interviews, and hell, just be friends. A web woven of friends is perhaps far better than a blanket carved of cold hard cash. In the end, isn't life about the pursuit of joy anyway?

Money, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll

I don't know whether to be hysterical with laughter or tears. My parents might think I'm going to do drugs or am on drugs. I mean don't get me wrong I have tried marijuana in the past, however it's not something I throughly enjoyed or plan on doing again. Of course, I have been irritable because I have been exhausted lately. I never see my family much and it breeds so much distrust between us. I can barely stand it anymore. In addition, today I asked for some book money for my AP class. Without making eye contact with me, I was told that I was slacking off on my responsibilities and they basically said I would get it whenever they get to it. I am so messed in the head right now. So the final piece of cake is that the drama at school is overwhelming too.

Courtesy

I understand that I give very little to this family. However, I also am realizing that I don't take very much either. Here is what I take to be exact every day: a small bowl of some hot or cold cereal, two slices of bread, a tablespoon of peanut butter, another tablespoon of jelly, one dollar and fifty cents for school lunch, an apple, and perhaps a load of laundry or some leftovers that weren't gonna be eaten anyway. I don't really ask for rides anymore, I would rather not be a burden and therefore refrain from asking for many things. So you would think, hey, Mike's a nice guy, hes been living here for a year or so now, I think we should be generally nice courteous people to him. The truth is, no people really don't think that. People never really save any nice leftovers or anything. While I was at track practice the family ingested a whole cake (leftover from my Birthday) (or so I am speculating, I could be incorrect.) Just overall I feel like whenever I am home I am not only unwanted but also quite unloved. Is this really what other families are like?

Birthday then St. Patricks

So my birthday was alright I suppose. The day after my Oma and Opa visited and I half-heartedly celebrated the birth of my responsibility as an adult. To be quite honest I'm not too syked about this whole thing. Look at it, I have to grow up, something I never wanted to do.

St. Patrick's Day was pretty interesting. I dressed up in a green turtle-neck and a green bandanna. Then finally I ate enough green dye to color the Mediterranean.

Honesty

About a week ago I found an iPod on the bus and immediatly was syked. What if I never found the owner! I would have an Mp3 Player again!!! Of course my good nature made me at least make minimal efforts to return it. So under the radar I did a little research and accidentally found the owner. Under the watchful eye of the principle, Mr. Murray, I returned the iPod to the kid and went about my buisness. BIG MISTAKE! Today in school they announced my honesty, over the announcements. So, all day today I recived jokes and sarcasm regarding my honesty. Seriously why nto just slap a sign saying 'weak' on my forehead. How annoying.

Leadership

So the past few days in drama class I have been taking charge of situations to keep the practice going. The surprising thing is that not only have they been well recieved but they also have looked pretty good on my part. To be honest I was pretty surprised. I just figured my parents telling me I had "natural leadership ability" was as truthful as the fact that I could be president one day.

Nifty and Awesome

Today, I got asked to prom. Now I know it seems pretty feminine to be exited about such a thing but I am. I get to go hang out with a good friend in a party setting and that is awesome. In the mean time I have a ton of homework...

Music

As I stirred in the milk, peanut butter, and chocolate syrup I thought about my taste in music. You have your main substance: rock. Just normal rock and a few of it's closer relatives like alternative and punk. Then you have your chocolate syrup, it would definatly represent industrial, metal, and gothic music. Finally, you have milk which was only a spash. The milk is like, pop music and techno. Mixing them together is tasty. I have a bunch of chocolate set to play at the bottom of my page...

F-ing Great

I'm condecending, controlling, and insensitive. At least according to my stepmother and her over-sensitive son. That's what i get for deciding to play games with my family. "I don't want to play games with you Micheal," my stepmother told me, "You are the reason I quit playing a few years back." All of this was because I asked my younger brother to play Rock Band with me. He said, "I can't play the harder songs." So in a kind and reassuring response I told him all it takes is a little practice and he'll be fine. So of course we end up playing a few, he throws a fit, and finally whines to his mother who tells me in a nutshell that I am a condecending jerk. You know what? To hell with me giving anything to this family outside of what is required.

It is unfortunate that they can't mark off my flaws as, "oh, he's young and wreckless," or, "it's not his fault, he's a teenager."

Writing Seminar

Today I attended a writing seminar with an ex-friend/ex-enemy and my bassist's older brother. It was interesting and I felt I got alot out of it. It was exiting. I was worried when i first read my poorly written short story outloud in front of the strangers. I wanted to write about what goes on in the mind of a killer. So when I read it, it was at first treated with shock. There was a long three seconds of silence around the room until the host talked about how he enjoyed the visuals and the psychological aspects. Others piped in to comment on the 15 minute work also. However, I noticed that over half of the stories were about personal tragedy and trauma. I left the room knowing everyone; and everyone knew me. However it wasn't from a formal introduction or set frame of aquaintance. It was a shared interest in storytelling and a company of misery and laughter.

School, Track, Drama

The voids of my soul can easily be filled with extra-curriculars. It gets tiring. Wake at 7, shower. Go to school 8-3. Track 3-5. Drama 6-9. Homework 9-whenever. Eat? Sleep.
I have so much fun even though I am tired and burning out... and it is only the first day =]

Death of a friend

Yesterday one of my closest friends died. His name was Sephiroth and he was the coolest rat ever to walk the earth. I buried him in the garden and when the flowers grow I am going to dry some of the petals and put them in my box.

Justice

So my mind wandered today to the idea behind justice. Justice is an interesting concept. No one can truly define it and separate it from revenge. Justice, to me, is just revenge in the form of a higher power punishing a lower. Since the code of Hammurabi, has revenge has been superceded by justice or has revenge just gotten a new name?

Blogging

Blogging, what is it anyway? Is it just a means to feel empowered without truly being so? Blogging is much like a video game. A video game is built around some kind of fantasy. In every game there is something that drives you to play. You want to be a superhero, a swordswinging maniac, or a gunman. These are all things that drive you to play. A blog can be just like that. By writing these little segments that few (if any) people read I get the feeling that I am above the world, looking down and telling what I see. I feel like a god.

What is going on?

I never expected this to be a personal blog. I didn't believe that it was going to be anything other than a political and social commentary. However the fact that my family does not know it exists make it the perfect place to say how I feel without thier watchful eyes. It is here and only here that I can state that I am infuriated with how we are treating one another. We're a family, not a buisness. We need to lighten the hell up. I miss my family, I miss togetherness, and I miss love. I have no family because they have been replaced by arguing benefactors.

Awake

I woke up this morning with a feeling of silent dread. As if it was all going down today and so far, I'm right.

Oh crap,

I'm a terrible person.

I forget to do things I'm supposed to and it makes it look like a don't care. But I DO care. I care a lot. I care more than anyone can see. But it doesn't make me any better of a person that I really do care.

We all know it's what is on the outside that really counts.

Remember friends, no one is going to ask you how you really feel about things and no one is going to believe you if you tell them.

A cute girl.

I met a cute girl today. I was working my buns off at a church function. I was serving food at a marriage banquet. It was quite tiresome. Her and I got stuck washing dishes for an hour and talked about everything from vocals to not knowing what to talk about when you talk. I'm upset with myself that I didn't get her phone number or screenname for an internet thing. It was nice even though I totally didn't get her number, however I am quite tired and am going to end this post right here...

Valentines Day

What could I possibly say about a Holiday that claims to be all about love? Three words, "check your pockets."

If you have a girlfriend, chances are, they are quite empty.

First Posts Are The Worst

Perhaps you will notice that most of my blog is going to be about the wrongs I see in the world. It is important to think about why these sorts of output were created in the first place. Think back to the philosophs, Voltaire once said, "To hold a pen is to be at war," and I am quite sure that pertains to keyboards as well. So why wouldn't you protest where the world can see it? Why would you hold back when your face is anonymous and your ideas are not? Men used to be persecuted because of their ideas and now in a time and place where they aren’t allowed to stop us, we are afraid? If you don't like what I write, tell me off and if you do like what I write, tell others. How can you be facilitating change if you are going to withdraw from the fray?