Catching up

So here is the short version of what went on recently in Mykle's life. Mykle ran his first two races at a track invitational. Mykle turned in the forms so he could go to prom. And finally, Mykle has gotten his interview with Subway rescheduled. In an hour or so Mykle will sprint out the door and into the passenger seat of a maroon car and receive a ride to said interview and then get dropped off at his place of education. Mykle is worried that he will have to quit track in order to work this job. Mykle is also worried that he wrote this entire post in the third person...

Promise me

The power of a promise. It is something hardly ever contemplated anymore. Two words added to the end of a statement can bind some human beings to death and beyond. Mykle, may not be one of those human beings. I was talking to my friend Sophie and she made me promise "not to do drugs." Whether or not she knew I had done it before wasn't the issue. It wasn't about what I had previously done. It was about someone showing that they really do care. So I did, I promised. So now all I can do is see if I can keep it.

Hell Week

Every day is becoming more difficult than the last. With the play on the horizon and track sticking to the same pace it was at before the days seem to get shorter. So, while hanging out with my mates yesterday was exactly what I needed, it may have not been the best idea.

Life Views

I suppose the real conflict of interest between my family and I is our views on life. It seems to me as though my dad believes life is all about affording what you want. So to do that he insists that I get a job, save money, and buy things I do not need (and barely want for that matter.) I don't think that is how life works ladies and gentlemen. Life is more like having a safety net of people, people willing to help you out in a tough time, put in a good word at job interviews, and hell, just be friends. A web woven of friends is perhaps far better than a blanket carved of cold hard cash. In the end, isn't life about the pursuit of joy anyway?

Money, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll

I don't know whether to be hysterical with laughter or tears. My parents might think I'm going to do drugs or am on drugs. I mean don't get me wrong I have tried marijuana in the past, however it's not something I throughly enjoyed or plan on doing again. Of course, I have been irritable because I have been exhausted lately. I never see my family much and it breeds so much distrust between us. I can barely stand it anymore. In addition, today I asked for some book money for my AP class. Without making eye contact with me, I was told that I was slacking off on my responsibilities and they basically said I would get it whenever they get to it. I am so messed in the head right now. So the final piece of cake is that the drama at school is overwhelming too.

Courtesy

I understand that I give very little to this family. However, I also am realizing that I don't take very much either. Here is what I take to be exact every day: a small bowl of some hot or cold cereal, two slices of bread, a tablespoon of peanut butter, another tablespoon of jelly, one dollar and fifty cents for school lunch, an apple, and perhaps a load of laundry or some leftovers that weren't gonna be eaten anyway. I don't really ask for rides anymore, I would rather not be a burden and therefore refrain from asking for many things. So you would think, hey, Mike's a nice guy, hes been living here for a year or so now, I think we should be generally nice courteous people to him. The truth is, no people really don't think that. People never really save any nice leftovers or anything. While I was at track practice the family ingested a whole cake (leftover from my Birthday) (or so I am speculating, I could be incorrect.) Just overall I feel like whenever I am home I am not only unwanted but also quite unloved. Is this really what other families are like?

Nifty and Awesome

Today, I got asked to prom. Now I know it seems pretty feminine to be exited about such a thing but I am. I get to go hang out with a good friend in a party setting and that is awesome. In the mean time I have a ton of homework...

F-ing Great

I'm condecending, controlling, and insensitive. At least according to my stepmother and her over-sensitive son. That's what i get for deciding to play games with my family. "I don't want to play games with you Micheal," my stepmother told me, "You are the reason I quit playing a few years back." All of this was because I asked my younger brother to play Rock Band with me. He said, "I can't play the harder songs." So in a kind and reassuring response I told him all it takes is a little practice and he'll be fine. So of course we end up playing a few, he throws a fit, and finally whines to his mother who tells me in a nutshell that I am a condecending jerk. You know what? To hell with me giving anything to this family outside of what is required.

It is unfortunate that they can't mark off my flaws as, "oh, he's young and wreckless," or, "it's not his fault, he's a teenager."

Writing Seminar

Today I attended a writing seminar with an ex-friend/ex-enemy and my bassist's older brother. It was interesting and I felt I got alot out of it. It was exiting. I was worried when i first read my poorly written short story outloud in front of the strangers. I wanted to write about what goes on in the mind of a killer. So when I read it, it was at first treated with shock. There was a long three seconds of silence around the room until the host talked about how he enjoyed the visuals and the psychological aspects. Others piped in to comment on the 15 minute work also. However, I noticed that over half of the stories were about personal tragedy and trauma. I left the room knowing everyone; and everyone knew me. However it wasn't from a formal introduction or set frame of aquaintance. It was a shared interest in storytelling and a company of misery and laughter.

School, Track, Drama

The voids of my soul can easily be filled with extra-curriculars. It gets tiring. Wake at 7, shower. Go to school 8-3. Track 3-5. Drama 6-9. Homework 9-whenever. Eat? Sleep.
I have so much fun even though I am tired and burning out... and it is only the first day =]

Justice

So my mind wandered today to the idea behind justice. Justice is an interesting concept. No one can truly define it and separate it from revenge. Justice, to me, is just revenge in the form of a higher power punishing a lower. Since the code of Hammurabi, has revenge has been superceded by justice or has revenge just gotten a new name?

What is going on?

I never expected this to be a personal blog. I didn't believe that it was going to be anything other than a political and social commentary. However the fact that my family does not know it exists make it the perfect place to say how I feel without thier watchful eyes. It is here and only here that I can state that I am infuriated with how we are treating one another. We're a family, not a buisness. We need to lighten the hell up. I miss my family, I miss togetherness, and I miss love. I have no family because they have been replaced by arguing benefactors.

Oh crap,

I'm a terrible person.

I forget to do things I'm supposed to and it makes it look like a don't care. But I DO care. I care a lot. I care more than anyone can see. But it doesn't make me any better of a person that I really do care.

We all know it's what is on the outside that really counts.

Remember friends, no one is going to ask you how you really feel about things and no one is going to believe you if you tell them.